We are supposed to love God, our families, ourselves, our neighbors, etc. but how do you explain this to a 3 year old? How can we teach this in a practical way to our children?
Today, we will be talking about the power of love. While this word has many different meanings, I specifically want to speak about the love that God has shown to us and how we pass down His love to our children.
Let’s start with a verse that almost all Christians know.
“For God so loved the word that He gave His only begotten Son, so that all who believed in Him would not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
These words contain so much hope! Just take a minute and reflect on them….
“For God so loved the word that He gave His only begotten Son, so that all who believed in Him would not perish, but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Now, explaining this verse to our children or others of how God loves us is not easy to do, I know even with a 3.5 year son! Sometimes it can be difficult to teach them about our faith. How do we take these sometimes complicated teachings and beliefs and make them something that our children can understand?
I would like to share with you a couple ways that I teach my son about God’s love.
The Bible tells us that love is from God and that God is love.
In the 1st letter of John (4:8 and 4:16) we read: “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” And “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”
The amazing thing about God's love is that it's not simply ‘a feeling’ to Him. He loves us even when we're not loveable and when we're unhappy or doing bad things. He loves all of us... no matter what.
In the book of Jeremiah we read: “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.’” (Jeremiah 31:3)
Recently while I was putting my son to bed, he asked: “Mom, how do I know that Christ and the angels are with me and love me even though I can’t see them?”
I paused for a moment, because honestly, this is something I still am trying to understand myself. In our society we have become “see it to believe it” people. I paused for a moment because in our society we have become a “see it to believe it” people. If we can’t see it, we can’t believe it. Even worse, if we can’t see it, if we can’t verify it using the scientific method, it doesn't exist! Honestly, this question is one that even I grapple with sometimes. Then, I remembered even when I was younger, when I would pray, I could feel the presence of God.
So I turned to Moses and I said, “God loves everyone and everything. We know that Christ and the angels are always with us because God tells us. Just because you do not see Christ and the angels does not mean that they are not with us. Loving Christ, going to Church, and saying our prayers helps us to know that Christ and the angels are with us .”
And then he said so sweetly, “And if I ever feel like they aren’t with me, I will hold my cross in my hand and know that they are here so I never forget.”
We know that God loves us. He came into the world, so that all who believe in Him, would not die, but would live forever! That event is what we will be celebrating in just a few weeks. The entry of God into the world.
As we come closer to the time though, it is quite easy to be distracted by societal things. Not that they are inherently bad. It is beautiful to experience the holidays. Here in Tirana, they started putting up the holiday decorations and the Center has been ready with the carnival rides and restaurants for three weeks! There are advertisements on the street, in the papers, on social media, on television that tell us what we should want as a present for Christmas and New Years. Within these preparations exists a deformation of their purpose. Society wants us to think that Christmas and New Years is about material things.
But I try to instill in my son, and in our family, that this period before Christmas is not about choosing what presents you want, eating lots of good food, or even celebrating before the Feast. Often times at such a young age, and also is admit I have this problem. Saying how we “love” material things. Thank God I have such a great husband. He always reminds us and teaches us that we don’t love things, like toys or foods, we like them or enjoy them. So we try to distinguish the difference between like and love.
This period before Christmas is a time for us, as Christians, to focus on God’s love. How can we emulate God’s love in our lives? How can we love others like God loves us?
God’s love is very different than what we see in our day to day life. It’s not (just) that lovey stuff we see in movies and on TV. It’s not bad to be lovey with your family, but sometimes it can be hard to show the people around you how you love them, and extend the love that God has for them.
There is a special kind of love we can have for others, it's called agape love. This agape love is to see people as God would see them.
I like to explain it to my son like this: Pretend for a day that you have special glasses on and that everyone you see you love just because God loves them, like the way you love your parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends.
Our day to day lives are not easy. We are tempted many times with getting angry at someone, yelling at someone, or being without love. Sometimes we might think that certain people don’t deserve our love, or that we don’t want to love them at all. But God loves them and if we love God, we are supposed to love them too.
Often times my son will ask: Mommy, who am I supposed to love? Well, we are supposed to love God, ourselves, our family, our friends, our neighbors, and even our enemies.
Ok, so back to loving. We are supposed to love God, our families, ourselves, our neighbors, etc. but how do you explain this to a 3 year old? How can we teach this in a practical way to our children?
Loving God
What are some ways that we can love God? It’s not as hard as we think. Let’s use this example: how do we show our family that we love them? We talk to them, listen to them, and sometimes we do things for them. We can do all of these things for God too! We might not be able to touch Him, but we can pray to God, and listen to Him when He talks to us. We can read the Bible and other Christian books to learn about God. We can also obey God and do the things He asks us to do.
Loving Ourselves
How are we supposed to love ourselves? Loving yourself does not mean that you are better than anyone else. In the St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians (5:29) he writes: “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the Church.” Sometimes it can be quite hard for children to understand that loving yourself isn’t doing what feels good or nice all the time. If I let my son only chose the food he liked to eat, he would be with many diseases and overweight… If i let my son chose to do only what he wanted, he would be glued to the television!
As a parent, I have to teach him how he can love himself and eat a balanced diet, which of course includes fruits and vegetables. Other ways we can love ourselves is by being careful: looking before crossing the street; sleeping enough at night; doing good in school; reading good books; and going to Church. We have to remember that if we are baptized, the Spirit of God lives inside of each one of us; We have to remember that each and every person is made in the image of God! God wants us to treat ourselves with love and respect.
Loving our Families
How are we supposed to love our families? Hopefully this one is an easy one. However, I know in my family, this is something that we still struggle with.
Something my husband and I try to explain to our son, is that as the Ritsi family, we love God, we love each other, we trust each other, and we always tell the truth. Telling the truth can be a difficult journey. Sometimes we become afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. It's easy for a child to lie to avoid consequences or out of a feeling that we don't want to let mom and dad down. We tell him again and again, Mommy and Baba will always love you. No matter what. Don’t be afraid to tell the truth. It’s always better to tell the truth, maybe there will be a consequence, but it will never be as big as the consequence of losing trust when we start to lie to each other. Those are some ways that we teach Moses that we can show love to one another.
Loving our Friends
How are we supposed to love our friends?
Friends are people that we choose to be in our lives. They are people that share the same hobbies, values, and outlook. Loving them should be easy. But just like family, if we disagree over something, we should still love them. We have to think of God’s love and have friendships that are filled with forgiveness and reliability. At my sons age, it can be quite hard to help him meet new children and make new friends. We try and teach him that he should choose friends who treat him well, who are acting always with love, and who share the same family values. Moses is still at an age where he needs continual guidance in his relationships. Don’t push, don’t grab, use nice words. Being near him while he interacts with his friends is a way that I try and help guide him so that he can form methods of interacting with friends that are based on love.
One time we were at the playground and he had met a new friend, Arlo. At first, he did not want to share his toys with Arlo, that is something we are still working on. But Arlo started to help Moses build his mountain of dirt. They were working together. My son realized this and was very quick to share his toys. He didn’t know if Arlo at first, but it turned out well and they played for a couple of hours together. At one point Moses even fell over a tree log and Arlo jumped up to give him a hand to get up from the ground. It is always so sweet and heartwarming to see children acting with love.
Loving our Neighbors
How are we supposed to show love to our neighbors?
You might be asking, well who are our neighbors? Our neighbors are not only the people who live around you in your house or apartment. Our neighbors are everyone who we come into contact with. From the cashiers at the supermarket, to the policeman directing traffic; from the people who stand next to you on the bus, to the people who beg outside of the church. I am always trying to encourage Moses on how we can help our neighbors with love. Maybe it is saying hello and having a conversation with the cashier at the supermarket, to waving thank you to the policeman; offering up your seat on the bus, to bringing a sandwich or some fruit for the people who beg outside of Church. We need to be good examples for our children, so that when they grow up they encounter their neighbors with love.
Loving our Enemies
How are we supposed to show love to our enemies? I hope none of us have enemies, but there are always people who we do not get along with or who believes the opposite of what we believe. There are many people in the world who do not believe in God and who do things to hurt Him. I always like to use this example for my son: Since Pascha, Moses has loved drawing Golgotha, the place where Christ was crucified. He knows that there were two thieves, one who went to Paradise, after asking for forgiveness, and the other thief who did not go to Paradise. But one crucial point that Moses remembers, is that on the Cross, Christ said: “Lord forgive them, for they do not know what they do.(Luke 23:34).” Here is Christ, dying, in extreme pain, and He does not ask to be helped. He was showing love to His enemies. To the people who had crucified Him. This has been a great example to us with my son. He knows that the people who crucified Christ were bad, but just like Christ we have to show them love.
Loving people who do bad things like that can seem almost impossible. Almost impossible. It’s not impossible because we have God’s help. By asking for God’s help, we will be able to love our enemies.
Learning to love like God takes a long time and takes God's help. My hope for all of us, not only during this Nativity fast, but throughout our whole lives, is to live our lives with love. Agape love that God has shown to us. Let us practice this love to God, our family, our friends, our neighbors, and our enemies.
I pray that you have a blessed week, filled with love!
