In a few short days we are going to be celebrating the of Feasts, Holy and Great Pascha. For Orthodox Christians, this is a joyous and much anticipated Feast Day. For myself, it is one of my favorite Feasts.
But I have to be honest, it is difficult to focus on the joy and excitement of Pascha when there are so many other things pulling my attention during Holy Week. For example, cooking, cleaning, shopping, working, taking photographs, getting enough sleep and in the midst of all of that preparing my mind and soul for what this Great Feast offers us as Orthodox Christians, the gift of everlasting life.
In addition, I make sure that my husband has everything he needs for the services, he is a Deacon, and making sure that my son understands what an important time this is in our Church. I rejoice taking care of my family and my way of showing my love is making sure my husband has ironed shirts and robes, my son has short lessons throughout the week on the days of Holy Week, and making sure they both have everything they need throughout the day.
Sometimes it is hard to make it for Sunday services. And I know after a Liturgy I’m exhausted from caring and explaining everything to my son. Now, during Holy Week, there are (sometimes) multiple services a day! Phew! If you thought it was exhausting on Sunday afternoon, after coming home from Church with a child, wait until Holy Week! But, after you see the joy and spark in your child’s eyes as they venerate the Cross, tomb, Epitaphio, and receive the light of Christ, nothing can compare.
My earliest memories of Holy Week and Pascha are both good and bad. Being a myrrh bearing woman with my friends and throwing flowers at the Tomb; my mom yelling at my sister for catching her hair on fire at the Pascha service; my mom yelling at my sister for catching someone else’s hair on fire at the Pascha service; running around with my cousins after Pascha Liturgy; my mom yelling at me for getting my Pascha dress dirty before Church; and leaving Church after receiving the Holy Light.
Yes, you heard that right. It was not until I went to Seminary in Boston, that I attended the Paschal Liturgy, received communion, and stayed for the whole service. Growing up, it wasn’t understood well that Pascha is not just about receiving the “Holy Light.” My father and his family are from Greece, and the tradition that they had was to go to Church on Pascha night, receive the light, bring it home immediately, and have a feast. I honestly never knew that the culmination of the service on Saturday night was the Liturgy and Communion and that was when the fast was broken.
There are a lot of traditions and ideas that I grew up with in the Orthodox Church. Some I still do to this day: Easter baskets, decorating the house, and going to Church. I Remember, one year during Holy Week, I came back when I was in university. It was the Holy Thursday service at night when Christ is brought around the Church, in procession, on the Cross. It was my first time, ever, at this service. I remember having a feeling of great sorrow. It was the first time that I actually understood and felt so sad about what had happened to Christ. Seeing Him on the Cross, life-size, makes it so much more real.
As a mother, I am still learning every year something new about Holy Week, the Passion of Christ, and Great and Holy Pascha. I think that Holy Week which culminates at Pascha, is the most beautiful time of the year. We are able to participate every day and relive the footsteps of Christ. The journey to the Cross is not one that Christ makes alone. We are called, as Orthodox Christians, to join him on this journey to understand the reality of sin and of death. We are called, as Orthodox Christians, to believe that Christ conquered sin and death, and His triumph is ours as well. By uniting ourselves with Christ, we discover that death has no power over us. By uniting ourselves with Christ, we discover that we too can live a life everlasting.
If you look at the book of services we will participate in, it can be daunting to think that within one week we will finish all of these hundreds of pages. As a mother, I believe that a lot of planning can help make Holy Week stress-free and enjoyable for the entire family. The ability to rejoice in the Resurrection of Christ, without having yelled at my family members every day because I haven’t been in a good mood or because I was stressed out is an important part of Holy Week.
I have five tips that I would like to share with you to help keep Holy Week a time of prayer and contemplation, to help keep this week free of stress. Because let’s be honest, there will be things that will change your schedule, but as I’ve learned living here in Albania: Avash- Avash, (slowly slowly) and be flexible!
Tip 1
My son is a picky eater, and it is a big job trying to make meals for all of us that are well balanced. Meals that will give us energy, but that are not filled with sugar or fats. For all of Great Lent I have a meal planning calendar that I try to stick to. Everyday I list what I will make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. During Holy Week, the idea of cooking and eating before or after the evening service makes me feel anxious. The week before Holy Week I try and make a list of what I will make, when I will make it, and what ingredients I will need for all the meals. I find that planning ahead helps us to eat healthy, instead of waiting for the moment we leave Church to think what we should have for dinner and then making a unhealthy choice for lunch or dinner. Some good lunch and dinner ideas for Holy Week are: pasta with tomato sauce and beans, spinach and leek or tomato and onion byrek (for the days that you won’t be able to cook), pasta salad with some vegetables and vinegar, rice and beans, vegetable soup (which can be made in a big pot and can last a few days), and grilled vegetable sandwich.
A hungry child in Church never ends up well. So before we go to Church I try and make sure that my son has a good snack: peanuts, dried fruit, some bread and peanut butter and plenty of water! I know that if I fill him with sugar he will be super crazy and want to run around during Church. I try and make sure that he eats something that is healthy before the services so that he doesn’t feel angry because he is hungry. On another note, I always bring water and a small snack to Church in case my son is feeling hungry during the service. If my son tells me that he needs to have his snack, and he can't’ wait until after the service ends, we go right outside the narthex, in the stairwell or outside, and he eats his snack neatly and quickly.
Tip 2
This leads perfectly into the next topic. For a child, if they are in a bad mood or can’t control themselves it is most likely because of two things: they are hungry or they are tired. Guaranteed. If there is anything that I’ve learned and failed at during these past four years of being a mother, is that I always underestimate how much sleep my son needs. My husband and I are always debating about when Moses should go to sleep and when he should wake up. I always think if he stays up late it is okay, it’s not a problem. But my husband is the one who believes a strict sleep schedule is important. We are both trying to compromise but the fact is, is that children need sleep. Most of their misbehavior can be directly related to lack of a schedule and not enough sleep.
All children have a schedule that they stick to. Even us, as adults, like schedules and routine. Holy Week and Pascha will push us to our limits in our schedules and routine. Our meals won’t be at the same time and our sleep schedules will be different, especially on Pascha night. But, there is something that we as mothers can do. We can try and ensure that our children, no matter the age, get rest and sleep when they get home from school, before they go to Church. After school, instead of going outside to play or watch television, have about half an hour where everyone in your family lays down and rests. For children, and even for adults, this can be hard. Something that I think helps is to read a book that focuses on Christ or the Saints.I find that this practice is also useful throughout the year, not just during Holy Week. Resting our minds and bodies is important for our health at every age.
Tip 3
I’m going to be very honest right now. The one thing that I like to do to unwind after a busy day is to lay in bed and watch a tv show or read a book. For my husband, he likes to play some computer games. There is something that is stress-relieving about “unplugging” our brains and focusing on something that honestly doesn’t take a lot of focus. Being on our phones, watching a tv show, playing computer games, reading a book, these are not bad things. But when anything is done too much, it can become unhealthy. Moses really has started to enjoy watching cartoons and playing a few computer games. We try very hard to limit his time for watching, but when we are busy working or have a project to do, it is very easy to sit him in from of the cartoon or game and let him watch or play for hours. Recently, if we do not let him watch a cartoon, he gets very angry. He will stomp his feet around the house and yell. We understand now how addicting and unhealthy cartoons can be for children. They can even be addicting and unhealthy for us as adults.
For Holy Week, something we want to do as a family is to limit our “screen time.” For my husband and me, we are going to try and limit how much we use our phones this week. Honestly, it is a little easier for us because I will be preparing the house, meals, and going to Church; for my husband, he will be at Church a lot, and working. It is difficult, but we can be more conscious about how much time we spend on our phones. If we find ourselves wanting to scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, we will instead read an Orthodox book, spend some more time as a family, or simply be in silence.
For Moses, we will try very hard to limit his watching cartoons. He knows it is something that he loves, but instead of him watching cartoons I will encourage him to read a book, color, or play with some of his toys. I will also enforce to him that this is a difficult thing that we are doing, not watching any tv shows, but our struggle is very important during this time.
Something that I want to do, is at every service, if he does a good job of following directions, and focuses good in Church he will get a sticker or a star when we get home. If he gets more than five stickers by Friday night, on Holy Saturday, after Liturgy, he will get to watch a special Pascha movie.
Tip 4
From this Sunday morning until next Sunday night, there are over 15 services that we can attend during Holy Week! Just thinking about all of those services, I am excited, but honestly I am kind of overwhelmed by the responsibility of trying to make sure that not only my son behaves in Church but that he understands what is going on.
Thank God, we have learned, as adults, how to act in Church. But imagine how difficult it can be for our children. In a lot of other areas of their lives, they are allowed to explore, run around, play when they want, but when they go to Church they are expected to almost sit like a robot and not do anything.
My opinion is that our children are children. But, we have to prepare them and teach them about Church and how to act in Church. They will not be like robots, they might (or if they are Moses they will) run, they will cry and make noise, but this is how they learn. By our mistakes we learn. But if no one is teaching our children about the Church services during Holy Week and the significance of each day, it might be quite difficult for them to understand why we went from only going to Church once or twice a week, to going every day, sometimes twice a day!
For us to be able to teach our children about Holy Week and the services we need to learn about them ourselves. As Archbishop Anastasios says: “we are always a student.” My personal goal, and my goal for you as Orthodox parents, is to learn about each day of Holy Week and how to teach my child about it.
Tip 5
Finally, during Holy Week I find it very easy to be comparing what I’m doing to what other people are doing. Why wasn’t she in Church tonight with her children? What is more important than Church? Why would he let his son bring that to Church? Why didn’t I think to bring that for my son for Church? Why isn’t my son sitting quietly like that little boy over there? The questions are endless. But this temptation is one that can be fought against. We are tempted to always compare ourselves to those around us. It’s even something that is used often in society, just look at the posters on the road showing you a flawless person with the most beautiful clothes. What do we think? How can I be like her?
This Holy Week, as mothers, let us not compare ourselves to our neighbors, but to the Mother of God. Let us implement her love in our lives. Let us mirror her patience and self-control as we are pushed to our limits emotionally and mentally. Let us look to her and pray to her when we are in times of distress.
Craft: Candle Stand
On Facebook and Instagram I love to follow a lot of Orthodox Mothers and families. There is one woman named Summer Michelle Kinard. She recently posted about her accessible prayer corner she has for her children. One idea that I fell in love with, was that she had a “interactive” candle bowl for her children. Now, I know I’m not the only one that is afraid of their child playing with fire and lighting candles. This is a safe way for our children to practice placing candles and praying. I adapted her idea for our home and there are a lot of different ways that you can do this, but the idea remains the same to make an interactive candle bowl for your children to use during prayers.
You will need:
A bowl or a container (we will use an old pot for plants)
Rice or sand
Straws (pipa), popsicle sticks, or something similar to be the base of the “candle”
Color paper or color felt paper
Scissors
Place the rice or sand in the bowl or container. You want it to be almost full.
With the color paper or felt paper trace and cut out flames for your candles.
Take whatever base you decided for your “candles,” (we chose popsicle sticks), and tape, glue, or staple the candle flame onto the top of the candle base.
Encourage your children when they place the candle in the candle stand to say a prayer. It can be a simple prayer: Lord have mercy; or they can pray for someone or something specific. Also, encourage your children to use the candles and candle stand at any time of the day. It is a good reminder that we can pray in every minute.
Recipe: Lazarus Halva
This Saturday we celebrate the raising of Lazarus from the tomb. One of Moses’ favorite saint stories is how Lazarus was in the tomb for four days before Christ came as yelled “Lazarus, come forth!!!” I guarantee there will be lots of yelling that phrase come Saturday!
I pray that you have a blessed Holy Week filled with patience, love, kindness, and strength.
